I took 2020 off from blogging. I can’t say it was due to the pandemic, since I had more time at home than I did before since I was no longer commuting to work. I just kind of stopped. Honestly, I stopped journaling as much as I had been, too, and that probably had a lot to do with it. Most of my blog posts come from inspired writing that comes through when I am journaling. So less journaling = fewer (or nonexistent) blog posts.
But a lot of things happened since my last post in December 2019 (understatement of the year, right?). I had left my stressful job right before my wedding in October 2019, and aimed to give myself time to figure out my next move, and focus on writing. However, a meeting with our financial advisor quickly made us realize that in order for my husband and I to expand our family, I needed to get another full-time job. I didn’t want to put kids on hold due to financial constraints. So I dove head-first into the job search, and allowed that to be my new job for a while.
At the same time, fear crept in. I felt fear of financial lack. I also came into this weird space that my good friend had also mentioned experiencing when she was between jobs. It was a space that arises when you spend too much time with yourself and your thoughts. Having too much time on your hands, I guess. You are better able to see your shadows, to go deep. It is a blessing, but also can be tough to confront.
To face my arisen fears, I reminded myself how strongly I believe in the idea that our thoughts and emotions create our environment. Now was the time to double-down on this belief and engage in practices that support this belief wholeheartedly. That’s what I did. I came upon a book aimed at creating abundance through consistent mindful techniques such as keeping a gratitude journal, reciting an abundance prayer, and engaging in certain meditations to bring in a sense of abundance rather than holding onto an idea of experiencing financial lack. And these techniques worked! They also inspired me to create some similar techniques of my own to add on, which changed my mindset from fear of lack to expecting abundance. And abundance truly followed, in the areas of finance, job opportunities, and “lucky” coincidental occurrences. It didn’t involve working my ass off. It involved a mindset shift.
The great thing about this time spent between jobs was that I was able to spend more time on my meditation practice as well. The combination of engaging with tools to address my shadow feelings (including fear of lack) and diving more deeply into spiritual work for myself was transformative. I realized that I was able to live in a state of flow, and that that was the natural state we all can (and should) live in. But that’s often not the case due to other demands.
I did find another job, which I began in January 2020. It is back in the field of psychological research, which is a fun area for me to work in. The job has not come without challenges, but it’s also been a great opportunity for me to continue to grow personally in terms of recognizing when I do and don’t feel best while working, speaking out about what I need, and setting boundaries when certain situations arise. And having this job allowed Michael and I to put our family plans back on track. We got pregnant in October 2020 and can expect our first bundle of joy this summer :)
And I must say, like I’ve seen many others mention, that the pandemic presented opportunities that would not have been available otherwise. Of course the spread of COVID-19 and its impacts have had horrendous consequences for so many. There is no denying that. However, personally, it allowed me to launch the business that is reflected on my site today. I began posting meditation videos on social media and teaching more yoga classes, and through these experiences met people who have become clients for one-on-one coaching for a variety of services, including meditation, yoga+meditation, and stress management, to name a few. Overall, I officially began a business that offers individualized mind-body services to improve clients’ well-being. It has been one of my favorite things to do to date.
A lot has happened since my last blog post in December 2019, and as we welcome spring into 2021, I feel ever-grateful, and honestly rejuvenated to begin writing more again, and sharing my experiences (as well as services!) with all of you. I hope 2020 had a few unexpected opportunities for you as well.