We know how good gratitude is for us, right? Positive psychologist Shawn Achor cited that one strategy to actually increase our happiness is writing down three different things we are grateful for each day. Also, I’ve heard that gratitude raises your frequency (and the higher your frequency, the more connected to the Universe, y’all). If you’ve ever journaled about things you’re grateful for, you probably know from experience just how good it makes you feel.
But how can we tap into this good feeling when something bad, stressful or annoying happens? How can we practice gratitude when something comes along to ruin our day? Most of us have probably heard that phrase that “every grey cloud has a silver lining”. And after someone told us that, we probably rolled our eyes and continued on in our bad mood. But how deeply have we ever thought about this idea, and tried to put it into practice?
When we’re in a bad mood because of our negative reaction to some situation, it can be difficult to shift our thinking toward positivity. But if we remain aware and work on that shift, we can benefit ourselves in two ways. By altering our thinking to focus on the good aspects of a negative situation, we 1) make ourselves feel better about the situation, and 2) practice gratitude as well. That sounds like a win-win.
So how is it done? When a negative situation arises, just take a moment to think about the good things that came out of that situation. For instance, one evening at work we had a last minute meeting scheduled at 5:00pm. I was supposed to meet my friend for dinner at 6:15, and if the meeting ended at 6:00 as planned, I could’ve made it. And there was no reason to think it wouldn’t go past 6:00 because the agenda for the meeting was very short. But YET by the time 6:00 rolled around we were in the middle of the meeting, and there was no end in sight. I pulled my phone from my bag as sneakily as I could and texted my friend that we may have to reschedule. She had already gotten to the restaurant. Now was going to have to call an Uber to bring her to the train station on the other side of the city to head home. She seemed kind of put off from her text responses, and I couldn’t blame her. I felt terrible, and didn’t even wind up leaving work until after 7:00. I missed out on seeing my friend, I inconvenienced her, and I ate a bag of pretzels for dinner that night. Kind of sucky. But besides feeling bad, there was nothing else to do but look for the silver lining.
So I considered the positive things that came from that situation:
1. I’m sure I got brownie points with my boss for staying late at work.
2. I helped out a colleague. My coworker was sick and unable to attend the meeting in person, so I took notes and sent them to her to keep her in the loop. She was grateful for that.
3. I worked from home the next day. The weather was expected to be bitterly cold, so working remote had been half-presented to us as an option for that day anyway, but now I could feel better about doing it.
4. I saved money by not going out to dinner (I do have to admit this one didn’t really make me feel better… the ends of seeing a friend are much worth the means of spending money, but it is something).
By taking a moment to mindfully shift my thinking, I was able to think of four positives that came from the one negative situation. This helped me to step out of my negative headspace and into a place of gratitude. That silver lining may as well have been glowing!
And like anything, the more we do this for each negative situation that arises (however small), the easier it gets, and the more automaticit becomes. Which will have us seeing the whole world in a much better light!